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Elexis Sinclaire (SiN)

Elexis Sinclaire / SiNBack in 1998, Elexis Sinclaire, sexiest CEO in the world and certifiable genius, first appeared to cause all sorts of problems for John Blade in the first-person shooter, SiN.  Though she was wildly shapely then (those proportions just don’t exist in nature) she’s even more curvy and scantily clad now, courtesy of Valve’s Source engine.  Really, she’s evil incarnate, but, man, does she ever fill out a bikini.

Princess Daphne (Dragon’s Lair)

Princess Daphne / Dragon's LairPrincess Daphne is the quintessential „princess in distress.”  She’s ditzy, has eye-lashes that could create a tornado is she blinked fast enough, and she’s dressed in a sparkly dress with a plunging neckline.  I’d brave a dragon for a shot at wooing Princess Daphne.  If I weren’t married that is… and I was a videogame character.

Jessica McCarney (Dead Rising)

Jessica McCarney / Dead RisingI won’t mention that poor Jessica eventually turns into a zombie because that would spoil the thought that, Dead Rising protagonist, Frank West and Jessica escape the mall and live happily ever after.  But the time she isn’t a member of the walking dead is spent wondering what happened to the buttons on her jacket.  I’m sure that when the buttons burst off due to severe strain people lost eyes.  Lets hope they were all zombies.

Kasumi (Dead or Alive)

Kasumi / Dead or AliveAccording to Wikipedia, „kasumi” can be translated as „mist.”  Isn’t that interesting?  Are you paying attention?  Are you being distracted by something?

Kasumi is part of the cast of characters of the Dead or Alive series and first appeared in 1996.  In the ten years since, her breasts have gotten bigger and, in fact, each one appears to have developed their own intelligence and seeks to escape.  How else can you explain their seemingly independent movement? (Apparently, I’m not alone in this line of thinking; Ctrlaltdel-online.com recently featured a comic exploring the issue.)

Rachel (Ninja Gaiden)

Rachel / Ninja GaidenA ninja with cleavage you can ski down?  Looking better than ever in the upcoming release of Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Rachel uses her ample cleavage to distract demons and enemy ninjas to gain the upper hand.  Most people know that games are pure fantasy — 99.5% of us will never be ninjas — but I always wind up asking the question: How do her boobs manage to stay in her leather top?  (Probably glued in by the ESRB.)

Nina Williams (Tekken)

Nina Williams / TekkenNina Williams is almost the most realistic female character the game world has ever produced.  But click on the picture.  Okay, are you back?  Did you see it?  If you missed it, she’s wearing high-heel shoes.  With a bikini?  Makes you wonder…

Regardless, her muscular proportions are actually pretty close to what an athletic woman might have in real life.

Rainbow Mika Nanakawa (Street Fighter Alpha)

Rainbow Mika Nanakawa / Street Fighter AlphaRainbow Mika doesn’t exactly jump to the front of anyone’s mind when the words „Street Fighter” are mentioned.  Only really notable for cartoony cleavage and her strange „butt attack.”  Street Fighter always stretched reality — throwing fireballs? That’s fine! — but when she leads with her buttocks…

Though I’m not wild about the character, Rainbow Mika once again re-affirms the superiority of fighting games when it comes to cleavage.

Kitana (Mortal Kombat)

Kitana / Mortal KombatYou’d never guess that Kitana is over 10,000 years-old.  Apparently all that time has not created any sags!  Aren’t videogame characters great?  Though she has appeared in other outfits, this one is my favorite.  There’s something about that „boot strap” lacing across the front that just appeals to me.

Her Kiss of Death fatality — the one which blows up her opponent like a balloon and explodes — might be worth it if it would let you get that close to digital breasts that are 10,000 years old.

Hana Tsu Vachel (Fear Effect)

Hana Tsu Vachel / Fear EffectThe first cel-shaded character to make the list!  Arguably as cartoony as Princess Daphne, Hana has less concern exposing herself to danger. (Danger being defined as her bra exploding.)

I’ll admit that I’ve never played a Fear Effect game but when compiling this particular Top Ten, I remembered the very provocative two-page ads that were in circulation around the time of release of Double-Helix.  If you remember, the equally curvy Rain Qin, straddled Hana, giving her a back rub.  While wearing lingerie.  And a gun.

Kalus (Kameo: Elements of Power)

Kalus / Kameo: Elements of PowerKalus is Kameo’s evil sister.  How do you know she’s evil?  Exposed cleavage, of course! And somewhat red hair!  That’s Evil Babes 101.  The more cleavage, the more evil.  Actually, that hypothesis doesn’t hold water.  Just look at Kasumi or Rachel.  Ah well, any excuse to look at cleavage…

She first appeared in last year’s Kameo when she released the Evil Troll King after becoming jealous of her sister.  Caused a lot of trouble, war, etc.  Why not just leave town and go to stripper school?  Wings are hot.  Imagine the kind of act Kalus could put on!

[ The Armchair Empire ]

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